Since I volunteered to ‘shine a light down the black hole called cheating’ in a previous article entitled ‘Why Men Cheat… Since you wanted to know‘, I might as well crawl into the guts of it so that we can all have a go at the credibility of my statements.
So, why won’t a man cheat on that woman he is totally enthralled by? First, let us assume that he did not allow himself to be in this state by the pretenses of the woman; he would have started a relationship with the woman that is perfect in his eyes or someone whose flaws he identified and is totally happy with.
It is amazing how proud, territorial and protective men can be over what they embrace as theirs. In the case of his woman he would certainly have chosen someone who he thinks is perfect for him, not just in how she looks but in how they are able to function as a couple, and don’t be surprised to know that men stick it to each other as it regards to wives or girlfriends more than wives badger each other with tales of their husbands or boyfriends.
Let us now narrow the scope down a bit to the areas of companionship and sex, which are prime areas where discomfort in relationships usually spring. During courtship prospective couples usually share a significant amount of information about themselves with each other in a quest to determine if each is what the other is looking for. When information is misrepresented in this phase it leads to persons allowing themselves to become attracted to or attached to personalities that don’t truly exist and forms the perfect pitfalls in the future.
As an example, when a woman consistently goes to sports bars or sports events with a man she is dating this gives the impression that she is into sports so it would now be a real bummer if two years into the relationship he finds himself going to all these same places by himself because she now admits that she only went with him because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings or some other colorful reason.
After not registering her point of view on dates to sports places when it would have mattered to the commitment choices of her man, should the woman now be seen as a victim if her man invites the attractive girl from the accounting department at his job to accompany him on these outings, since she is a big sports fan?
Can a relationship function properly without great sex? Highly unlikely; women think that men are of this opinion and so during the initial phase of the relationship many women go to great length at times to impress upon men that they are prima donnas when it relates to the bedroom and then a couple years down the road it seems to become evident that their interpretation for great sex from a man’s point of view is a case of ejaculation in which she participated. Most men prefer being in the act of sex ladies, not the end result of having been in the sex act.
Yes, men emphasize sex in a relationship. Not because they are addicted to it but because they realize that it is the fountain that constantly greases the wheels of a relationship. Sex is one of the few things in a relationship that no matter how many times a couple experiences it, it is different, its where they go to communicate to each other what words cannot express and for that refreshing and rejuvenating vibe. Remove great sex from a relationship and it will sooner or later come to a grinding halt.
Men express love and affection during sex, while most times women express love and affection after sex. Nevertheless, sex is where both expressions get to congeal and bring both parties closer together. When something hampers great sex in a relationship the need to express those kinds of emotions and affections get hampered and this leads to frustration, which just so happens to be uncomfortable.
Secondly, there is the issue of men and their ego, which women are always ragging on. Sex is a man’s arena and his woman is his stage. It is her facilitation of him that allows him to perform and show his prowess in satisfying her sexually and the achieving of sexual and sensual pleasure together that is greater and more intense than the times before. Why is this so important to a man? Because all men secretly embrace the desire to be the king of the sexual hill. Face the facts, women talk, men just prefer when it’s the good stuff you share with your friends.
Men need the reassurance that there will be no limitations in this arena, other than that which he knowingly signed up for. Too many women present the idea of ‘Broadway’ to their man in the beginning of the relationship and then shaft them with a ‘community center’ further on in the relationship with the full backing of the unwritten no return policy.
Men like to know that every wild passionate thing that he can dream up can happen in his bedroom and be greatly enjoyed by himself and his partner, even though he probably has not come up with an original thought since the first three months of the relationship.
Men like to think that their woman is just the greatest lover in the world and all their friends are left in the dust. I wonder how a man would feel if he hears one of his friends say “She is the greatest, last week while we were having sex she just put both her big toes in her ears and tell me to have it….can you imagine?”, when he knows that his woman would not even agree to doing more than two positions in the same night more so try to see if something like that is even possible, and even if he was brave enough to suggest it to her he would have to wait until Wednesday night anyway.
Ladies, don’t box your guys in after he was lead to believe that you were open minded; In fact it would serve you better to fake it till he makes it and in the interim whisper suggestions in his ears as to how to get even greater results than to try to rein him in to conforming to what you were truly comfortable with in the first place. He will jump those fences in a heartbeat for freedom of sex even though he loves you oh so much. He will show up and serve out ‘for richer or poorer’, ‘in sickness and in health’ and ’till death do us part’ like a sentence everyday as a good trooper while he shafts you on the ‘have no one else besides’ because in his heart he holds it that you cheated him first.
Women that totally enthrall their men are able to do so because they took the time to truly know the man rather than ‘catch’ the man. As a result she can always stay several steps ahead of her man; she knows how to keep him captivated, how to keep him focused, happy and greatest of all comfortable. These women are the women who get to know how truly easy it is to keep a man faithful and experience how happy he is to do so.
Note however, that there are distinct differences between men and over grown boys.
Photo credit: ©iStock.com/Deklofenak
